Sexuality & Gender - part I

A succinct introduction from a Christian perspective

The word of God is beautifully simple and clear on most things. In fact, for many people that’s the problem! The simplicity of Scripture makes it offensive as truth is laid bare for all to see; so we make it complicated, and in so doing begin to water down or explain away some of that offence.

Sexuality and gender are two subjects that have fallen victim to ‘complicating-out’ the truth so that sin can be excused or relabelled as something else. Like love.

Gender

In terms of gender, Jesus sums it up in Matthew 19:3 when He reinforces Genesis 1:27 (also Genesis 5:2) by saying; “Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female.’” Genesis 1:27 says that humanity was created in God’s image; that image being more than just the flesh, but in the flesh He was satisfied that male and female were enough to do that. There are no references to any gender type other than male and female; not within God’s created order nor within any boundaries of permission or acceptability.

Sexuality

Regarding sexuality, knowing that we are only male or female, we leave our parents and are joined together in marriage only as man and woman. There is no other definition of marriage and there is no other definition of sexuality, or of any other appropriate place for a sexual relationship to be conducted. So, if marriage between a man and a woman is the only place God has provided for a sexual relationship, then every other form of ‘marriage’ and sexual activity falls outside of what He has permitted.

Sexuality is more than just sexual relationships; it is also sexual thoughts, feelings, attractions and behaviours. Paul in his letters, and particularly in Romans, refers frequently to what is permissible and what is not.

Desires

What about when people have thoughts, feelings and desires about their gender and sexuality that fall outside of what Scripture says God has created?

First of all, we are all tempted in different ways. This doesn’t only relate to people who think their gender or sexuality is wrong; this also includes men and women whose gender and sexual identities are in line with God’s creation. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:1-6 about this; his counsel is that men and women who cannot control their desires should marry so that they don’t fall foul of temptation and sin. He also writes in 1 Corinthians 10:5 that we should take every thought captive - a discipline that catches the temptation immediately before it causes us to sin (not just sexual sin). In Matthew 5:28 Jesus speaks about lust and adultery being one and the same. So we all need to watch our desires carefully.

Secondly, anything that is outside of God’s created order and His purpose for our lives that we act upon is a sin. Creation is in a fallen state, and so are we. Any thoughts, feelings or desires that are outside of God’s created order is part of that fallenness. Plus we have a Deceiver out to steal, kill and destroy everything God has made (John 10:10a)!

Thirdly, God has a plan to rescue and to heal. Throughout history, God is well known for making the ‘impossible’ possible, and that includes having our minds renewed and our bodies restored. But what happens when you remove God from the equation for our lives? Two things: we lose God’s standard for our lives and we lose His provision of rescue and healing. In other words, not only does the ‘impossible’ remain impossible, but we also lose any control or value system to suggest that anything we think or desire might be wrong. Paul writes about this in Romans 1:18-32.

Love

This is perhaps the place where most of the battles, misuse and misunderstanding have occurred. The argument is, generally, ‘God is love. I love this person therefore it’s godly or right,’ or, ‘God loves me the way I am,’ or, ‘This wasn’t understood in biblical times.’ The ideas and Scriptures used to support ‘inclusivity’ rely completely on broadening their original meaning to extrapolate a concept not explicitly expressed in the text or context. And, to add to this, in the mix is also hyper-grace and no repentance, just to make sure these opinions are acceptable. It is one thing to discover a new depth of meaning to Scripture as we read and reread; it is something else to reread Scripture with the intention to find - or read in - a different interpretation which just so happens to suit your own opinions (which cannot in the first place be found in Scripture!).

In a nutshell, hyper-grace plays up the grace of God to cover or forgive all sin and plays down the need to repent or confess sin. There are more extreme versions but this is the most mainstream at present. To play down the need for repentance, especially at conversion, sits very well with ‘God loves me the way I am,’ which is a twisting of the truth. These together allow a person to believe that they are the way God has made them and therefore there is nothing to repent of; it removes any recognition that a person has sinned and gone their own way, rather than God’s. The result is that their state before or at conversion is fine and requires no intervention - to the extreme, no sins to forgive!

If a child arrives home covered in mud, the parent welcomes them in as they are and then immediately sends them for a shower! It’s the parent’s love that doesn’t allow the child to stay covered in mud; it would be parental neglect to let the child believe it is okay to stay muddy. The same is true when we approach God for salvation; He loves us as we are (not the way we are) to welcome us, and it is that same love that helps us to recognise our own ‘dirt’ so that we can be washed clean.

God is love - pure, divine love unlike anything we could ever imagine, nevermind replicate - but a human expression of love is not necessarily of God. They are not the same thing! Loving a person does not equal loving God or loving like God. Godly love follows the pattern He created for love, within its confines so that it is righteous, blessed and wholesome. Love outside of God’s pattern is a distortion, a deviation, and formed out of the flesh, not of God.

It is no surprise that living in a sexualised and self-focussed society, the whole debate around sexuality and gender has been wrapped up in identity.

To conclude

God has set in Scripture a clear understanding of what love is, what gender is and the place for sexuality to be expressed. This has been set out above. Everything outside of this is sin, a deviation from the truth and God’s perfect desire for a person’s life. To remain silent on this is to be like a neglectful parent and it is harmful. Speaking the truth, in love, gives the person a chance to repent and turn away from sin, or reject the truth.